just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
