Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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