you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
