there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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