You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
