i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
