i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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