$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
