I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
