i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
