you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
