I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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