Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
