I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
