So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We left an ass print on the piano.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
