Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
