Do vagina's smell?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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