god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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