my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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