We won't sleep together?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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