She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
