I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
