i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i will never coherently bang her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
