i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
