I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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