im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
