So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
