She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
