you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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