Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize