So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
