She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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