she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
