two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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