i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
