dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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