Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
