Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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