What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
