That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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