You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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