Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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