btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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