Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
