Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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