There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
