At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
