my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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