that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize