she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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