This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Everclear isn't food dammit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
