That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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