I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
