I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
