question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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