I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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