shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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