Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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