At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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