She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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