i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
